I am realizing that for far too long I have allowed the criticism from others to repeat louder in my head than the compliments. I have allowed them to consume me and turn into the daily conversations I have with myself. In all honesty, I am realizing that I have truly lost myself while trying to please everyone else. It took a long time to realize that I can’t please everyone no matter how hard I try, but I sure as hell can lose the most important person, MYSELF!
I have been really thinking about it all lately, I don’t know if I have truly ever loved myself. I have had bursts of confidence usually brought on by a cute outfit, compliment from a stranger or just higher self esteem that day but I have never really truly shown myself constant true love. This has shown up in many ways, when I was younger it showed up in how I partied, in my 20s it was what I put in my body allowing it to become unhealthy and now in my mid 30s it is how I speak to myself. It has gotten to the point that I crave the compliments but feel uncomfortable when they happen. Even when I compliment myself I don't always believe it.
I never really understood why self love was important which may be why I never really tried that hard to do it. I didn’t understand that you have to try and fail at a lot in order to find your spark, I got tired of failing so I just stopped all together. I didn’t understand that by allowing yourself to try and fail is truly how you grow and build the self esteem. I didn’t know that the words I spoke to myself are the loudest around and create the vibration at which my life flows from. It took stepping out of my comfort zone, reading books I never thought I would and researching ways to live a healthy and happy lifestyle to truly start calling myself out on how MY words and MY actions have caused me to be unhappy and stuck.
I will share the number one thing I am finding about self love with you all! All of my reading, meditating, journaling and podcasts have all come back to the same thing. You can’t receive love and kindness if you are not kind to yourself and show yourself love. It wont matter what anyone around you says, if you don’t believe it, then you wont see it. It can also be said that if you believe it too much then that becomes your truth. Your thoughts become your truth!! If you think something is hard or unattainable, then you are right! If you think you are strong and capable, then again YOU ARE RIGHT!
It is time for this mindset to change! It is time to start talking kinder to myself! To stop listening to what others have to say about me and to trust myself to just be, well…me!! It is time to let go of the fear and self doubt and allow myself to truly grow and evolve into who I was meant to be.
I am going to end this with some positive affirmations that I will be using to help retrain my brain, allowing it to let go of the past and even parts of my current to make room for my future self!
*I am strong, beautiful and capable of amazing things.
*I love my body for all it has done for me.
*I release the fear and doubt that is holding me back.
*I release the negative thoughts, opening up space for the positive.
*I understand that my thoughts will become my reality.
Stay lifted and never forget that you are a beautiful soul who is worthy of great love, especially from yourself!
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